


Five Bizarrely Plausible HP/Muppets Crossover Romances

by marginaliana



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling, Muppet Show
Genre: Crossover, Humor, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-26
Updated: 2006-12-26
Packaged: 2017-10-06 00:26:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marginaliana/pseuds/marginaliana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five romances that probably never happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Bizarrely Plausible HP/Muppets Crossover Romances

**Author's Note:**

  * For [corvidae9](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=corvidae9).



1.  
"So, Beaker," said one lanky, red-haired boy, resting a large, freckled hand on Beaker's shoulder, "wouldn't you like to help us out by testing some of our newest product line?"

Beaker felt the other twin sidle up behind him. He sighed. Now they would bully him into it, he was sure, just the way Bunsen always had.

Then he felt George's warm tongue begin to caress his ear and he jumped.

"We would, of course," said Fred," make it worth your while."

Beaker considered that strangely arousing mental image.

"Meep," he said. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

\-----  
2\.   
Sam wondered how his life had gone wrong. This was not how a bald eagle was supposed to feel – it was decidedly undignified. With typical American fortitude, he faced it – he was in love. She was nothing like his imagined ideal woman. She was wild and fanciful and free, all of which were thoroughly un-American qualities. And she was British, too.

"I love your feathers," Luna said, stroking Sam's head gently. "Much prettier than a wrackspurt's."

Sam sighed and submitted to her caress.

_Oh, well,_ he thought. _Loving Luna isn't so terrible, really. I mean, suppose I'd been a homosexual!_

\-----  
3\.   
Sirius wasn't sure if Rowlf had _also_ become a talking dog by being brought back from the dead through a partially misunderstood dark arts ritual performed by three teenagers and a werewolf, but he was kind of afraid to ask. Given the record number of talking animals and… other things… that worked on the show, though, he thought it unlikely.

It didn't really matter, he decided. They were partners now, both in music and in life. In Rowlf he'd finally found the companionship he'd always wanted.

_As cheesy as it sounds,_ he thought, _we really are each other's best friend._

\-----  
4\.   
Ginny had always known she'd be a princess someday – she was a seventh child, and the only daughter – it was obvious. For a long time, she'd imagined Harry as her knight in shining armor. When he'd saved her life, it seemed to finally be happening.

Unfortunately, that had fallen through. Thinking about it now, Ginny shrugged. Harry was nice enough, all right, but he couldn't be what she wanted. _And, well, one prince is as good as any other, I suppose._

She stroked the tender flipper underneath her hand and smiled.

"Kermit," she asked shyly. "Can… can I kiss you?"

\-----  
5\.   
"Remind me again why I'm wearing this?" Hermione asked, smoothing her hands over the mottled brown and white feathers that covered her arms and abdomen. Her voice was slightly muffled by the beak-shaped mask over her face, but Gonzo understood anyway.

"You're undermining the hegemony of the narrow-minded, human supremacist magical community, dearest," he said with an air of long-standing patience. "Now, hold still while I get your feet on." Hermione sighed.

"Besides," Gonzo continued under his breath, "you look fantastic as a chicken."

Hermione squawked exasperatedly. "I heard that," she said. "Honestly. Is that all you boys think about?"


End file.
